Posted by: Nadine | October 1, 2009

Why adoption?

Ryan and I have discussed having a third child a few times, and while Ryan has been more enthusiastic about it from the get-go, it’s taken me a while to come around.  I mean, we certainly have enough love in our family to go around, but three kids sounds like an awful lot.  Right?  And having to start all over again with the night feedings and the diapers…. mmmm, just not sure if I’m ready for that.

Then a few days ago, the idea came to me that perhaps we could adopt instead.  This idea came about rather unconventionally – I was forwarded a couple of downright horrific videos about children who had been actually killed by their own parents through outright torture, abuse, and neglect.   Now obviously these particular children couldn’t be saved because first their parents failed them miserably, secondly everyone who knew the abuse was happening failed them, and thirdly the system we pay with our tax dollars to protect children in these sort of situations failed them most of all.  BUT there are thousands and thousands of children who have been saved by the system or who have been placed for adoption who are either being bumped from one foster home to another or they are in “limbo”, and they need a permanent home.  We don’t have a lot of money, but we both have long-term jobs, we own our home and we don’t have much debt outside of our mortgage and car payment.  The way I see it is if we are going to have a third child anyways, why not open our home to a child who needs it?  To me it feels like a higher calling that I simply must answer.

I presented this idea to Ryan, and he turned me down flat.  Wouldn’t even consider it.  You all know it’s not my style to just quit, so my project today is to do some research on the adoption process.  I am interested in hearing any stories that you would like to share about being adopted, or if you know someone who has adopted and what their general experience was.  I  know it’s expensive, I know that you have to jump through one hoop after another, I  know that you are pretty much put through the wringer…  I’m just interested, in particular, in the perspective of the adoptive child.  Particularly if you were adopted and there were already biological children in the family, seeing as this will be the case for us.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share the videos with you that brought me to my decision, but I will anyways.  Consider yourself warned, they are graphic and they will absolutely break your heart.  I can’t watch them anymore myself, they make me cry every time. 

If I could save just one….. just one……


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