Posted by: Nadine | February 16, 2009

Am I missing something?

I have always considered myself a spiritual person.  Not religious by any means (I am not a fan of organized religion) but spiritual.  Meaning I believe in a higher power, a higher “self”, who guides me, maybe occasionally nudges me in the right direction, but does not dictate who I “should” be or what I “should” do with my life.  I dabbled in many different ways of communicating with this “higher self” in my younger years, through card reading, dream interpretation, coin tossing, numerolgy and such, but lost interest as adult life took over, along with its seemingly infinite responsibilities.  However, I never did lose the sense that I was here for a purpose, something I am “meant” to do.  This made me feel like I was set apart from others who seemed to be just going about their lives in a meaningless way, just getting from day to day – I couldn’t relate to them.  I wanted to, but I just couldn’t.  I had a strong intuition that my purpose was to “help” people.  How, I didn’t know.

I regained interest in spirituality and pursuing my purpose to “help” people after a chance encounter with a website advertising hypnotherapy classes.  As fate would have it, I ended up attending a different class, and met like-minded people. Finally, a group of people I could relate to!  I thought “HA!  This is it, I’ve got it now.”  I poured myself into my studies.  I researched on the internet.  I read every book I could get my hands on.  It felt like magic.   I learned so much, not only from my instructor but from each of my classmates.  After being inspired by a fellow classmate to do so, I ended up training in Reiki during my studies to compliment what I planned to be my own hypnotherapy practice.  I was ecstatic!  I had found my purpose.

Well, not so.  I tried twice to set up my practice – I distributed my business cards, brochures, I put up posters around town, I advertised in the newspaper.  I got a couple of clients, but that was it.  After a few months of trying, it just seemed it wasn’t meant to be.

Now I feel sort of stuck.  I can’t help but feel like there is some sort of purpose to my life.  I just can’t put my finger on what it is supposed to be!  As I mentioned before, there are so many people I encounter every day that just seem to sleepwalk through life.  Is that their purpose?  Do we even have a purpose?  Is it okay to not have a purpose?  I am a pretty big deal to my husband and kids – is that my purpose?  Is it silly to want to do more, make more of a difference, to other people, not just my family, when I already have so much?  I love my life, I really do, but I can’t help but feel like there is supposed to be something more to it.


Responses

  1. I’m not a purpose-oriented person. I figure I’m here to live my life and be the best person I can be and enjoy it. Haven’t thought about it beyond that. But then, I wouldn’t.


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